Safety briefs are never looked forward to and often consist of repeated “don’t do this” things that should be common sense, but there is a reason for them -accidents still happen.
A recent post to Reddit featured soldiers using the lift on a military vehicle to raise a soldier into the bed of a Humvee by his vest.
In the video, a soldier who appears to be an NCO yells, “How about we not f***ing kill our dude.”
The post, which said, ‘On today’s safety briefing,” sparked up conversations about safety briefs.
“You have to be a special kind of stupid to play with hydraulics and squishy humans,” a Redditor responded.
Other Redditors chimed in with their own stories about obscure safety briefings that have occurred.
One Reddit user wrote:
I was stationed at the Presidio of Monterrey for a bit while I was in the Marine Corps.
Will never forget the safety briefing from our Master Guns in response to the Air Force detachment recently banning alcohol.
In a thick texan accent:
“I dont know why I have to say this, Marines. Don’t go stickin’ no gahtdang hand sanitizer up yer butts!”
Its up there with the one about not trying to put glow belts on the mountain lions.
Another user who was in the National Guard wrote: “I was in an HHC and the company commander would always say ‘wear a condom and use a dental dam’ to try and embarrass our BC who was pretty religious.”
A veteran replied with a story that definitely led to an interesting safety briefing:
“We worked a patient transfer from Ghazni to Bagram back in 2013 where two dudes decided to “sword fight” with vehicle antennas…needless to say, the dude we were hauling back to Bagram left Afghanistan with one less eye.”
But the Marines take the cake for the best safety story in this Reddit post.
My friend told me a story. He was a Marine, I was Air Force. The story convinced me Marines have too much free time nkt enough sense. They were on a deployment. My bud and his friend found a heavy ass ball and were shot putting it back and forth. Higher ranking person from another unit walks by and stops for a second then goes to find their commanding personnel. He tells the person in charge “You have 2 idiots over there tossing around UXO”
Their commanding person said “Not them! Those 2 are my best 2 guys!”
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