(*This is completely satirical)
With ISIS terrorists targeting thousands of Americans every day and earmarking them for attack, many of us seasoned veterans of the Global War on Terror are feeling a little, well.. Left out.
Like the fat kid nobody wants to pick for volleyball or the girl too tall to be asked out at junior high prom, we in the veteran community want to give back to the innocent American public- by willingly offering our body as a shield.
Let’s face it, you civilians are easy targets. We watch you run into things every day, flinch when there is thunder and totally lose your sh** when someone says something bad about you on Facebook. Your shooting skills are awful. Well, some of you can shoot but these deer shoot back.
So, that being said- we’d like to help you out by putting ourselves on the ISIS “kill list”.
That’s right- veterans have been coming together to get ourselves added to a petition that we will then send to ISIS’ Cyber Caliphate Division for dissemination. That way, they will focus more on us than they would you (seriously some of us have just been dying to shoot bad guys again).
So please, share this link on every social media platform you can find. Donate to our cause (we will need ammo) and if you are a veteran, JOIN US by signing the petition here*.
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