Only thing “Independence Day” got right was Marine pilots like strippers

The nation’s #1 satirical news site applauds a military civil rights victory in a fake film review, wrapping it in an allegory that highlights the historical romantic ties between servicemembers an exotic dancers.

In a satirical review of the new Independence Day sequel, “Onion movie critic” Peter K. Rosenthal draws comparisons on how the military -and society- has gotten past the era when US servicemembers faced being professionally persecuted for choosing to love an individual outside the parameters of the social norm- in this instance, hilariously replacing the concept of same-sex marriage with that of servicemembers and strippers.

Harkening back to the age of the film (which took place during the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” era of the early to mid 1990s), Rosenthal calls it “a film that serves as a triumphant testament to the progress our country has made in recognizing a service member’s right to choose whomever they want to marry- even if they person they want to marry is a stripper.”

“Thousands of pilots,’ Rosenthal continued, ‘whose only fault was following their heart and engaging in loving, committed relationships with strippers…Suddenly found their careers at a dead end, the victims of a narrow-minded policy that told them they weren’t good enough to serve their country.”

Rosenthal then goes into how service members felt “overwhelming pressure” to enter “loveless show-marriages with non-strippers” in order to keep their careers, and that the sequel shows the social progress that has allowed service members (in the film) to marry and serve, even if they themselves may be strippers.

While the military ban on openly gay US military personnel was lifted on September 20, 2011, the well-documented love affair between military personnel and exotic dancers has existed since the BC era, when Roman soldiers roamed the landscape.

Despite Independence Day’s inaccuracies (there may have been more F/A-18 Hornets featured in the film than there were in actual inventory at the time), one thing is historically accurate- Marines love strippers.

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