New Taliban commando training video looks more like a bizarre 70s cheerleading

A new video released by a Taliban commando unit looks more like a bizarre 70s cheerleading video than any sort of actual military training.

Releasing the video around Christmas, the Taliban warmed the hearts of the people they hoped to intimidate with dated training methods and choreographed stunts that could make the legendary choreographer Jerome Robbins roll in his grave.

From push-ups to monkey bars and leaping through flaming hoops, the training regimen is the kind of thing you would see from a traditional second and third-rate military. What makes it stand out, however, is the clumsiness in which these stunts are executed.

If you ask the average western commando, they will probably tell you that while jumping through rings of fire is impressive, it’s not something they’ve encountered on any mission as of yet. Maybe someday, if Michael Bay turns into an evil supervillain, but not yet.

The western world thanks you for your entertainment value, Taliban. We’ll be sending you a token of our appreciation -from around 16,000 feet above the ground- any day now.

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