How military members respond to “can you call in sick after long night of partying?”

When it comes to military life, there’s no such thing as actual time off. Sure, you could get a weekend, you might even take out leave days to visit your family… But you’re always subject to recall, and are expected to be in fighting shape upon arrival.

With this in mind, there was likely many a smirk upon the faces of active and prior military personnel who came across a thread in Reddit’s military section, titled, “Calling in sick.”

“I’m not in the military, but [I] am asking because I’ve been wondering this for a while,” the threat author wrote. “I have friends in the military who party- and party hard. As a restaurant employee, I can just get someone to cover my shift or call in ‘sick.’ But how does it work for you guys? If we get caught for calling in sick when we’re really hungover from drinking/doing drugs, we get fired. But if you’re committed to serving for 4+ years, what are the consequences for not going to your shift?”

The responses were predictably great.

For the majority of grunts and medics/corpsmen, the time-honored ritual of getting an intravenous injection of saline was a common and well-received bit of advice. In addition to the IV treatment, running off the alcohol (and creating the most disgusting sweat and booze-scented musk known to humanity) was a similarly good option, although the latter would almost always end with someone vomiting.

“Drunk f***ers in a formation run, tossin’ their cookies…and [they] keep on truckin,” one user posted.

For the US Air Force, you had slightly more comfortable options. One could simply report in sick and be sent back to bed, while some had access to 100% pure oxygen, which would clear a man right up.

“Air Force you just send your supervisor a text message and say you are sick and not coming in today. How its been for the last 5 years,” one Airman said. “Also, what is morning formation?”

Across all branches, “water and ibuprofen” appeared to be the gold standard, with little to no option of getting out of going to formation.

Regardless of which part of the Armed Forces you come from, one thing is for certain: there just ain’t no such thing as a day off, so you may as well start hydrating now.

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