Jim Mattis’ first 100 days in office explained through memes


As his 100th day office recently passed, Jim Mattis likely won’t have time to reflect upon his greatness- so we’ll do it for him.

Despite the prestige of being America’s 26th Secretary of Defense, the retired Marine general was a beloved figure across all branches of the military, not just the smallest one he held a leadership role in.

Mattis is certainly more popular than his predecessor, Ashton Carter, and we’re not just saying that- their Instagram hashtags highlight the countless mentions of Mattis over the old SecDef, who -to be fair- wasn’t all that popular to begin with.

A man’s man, a Marine’s Marine, and a warrior’s warrior, Mattis’ evolution into his more powerful form (although we hope he assumes his “final” form as President Mattis someday) can be tracked via a bizarre phenomena- memes.

Be it unlicensed moto t-shirts or the most meme-ish of memes, Mattis’ rise is not hype- it’s quantifiably proven.

The cult of Mattis is all around you, you just don’t know it. From your lowly E-1s to the officers chanting in the Pentagon, there is no denying his awesome power. Some say the bachelor for life is only unmarried in the mortal realm, appropriately married to Greek Goddess of Chaos, Eris, as he can transcend reality as we know it.
Married to a goddess? Who are we to judge? It’s a new military, after all.

When it was rumored that Mattis was running for POTUS, a lot of us got pretty excited. From world peace to knife hands becoming more deadly than ICBMs, Mattis could have been the chosen one. That said, he got the SecDef slot, and we’re okay with that. Baby steps.

Let’s face it, even if he is married to a Greek goddess, what happens in this realm stays in this realm. Mattis melted hearts as he was sworn in back in late January.

From day one, Mattis was slaying bad guys. On his first day at work (a weekend, no less), “Fighting Joe” Dunford made sure he was the first to greet Chaos at the door in January.
We won’t go into detail as to why nobody liked Carter as SecDef. That said, you can draw your own conclusions.

Mattis is known for his fabled knife hand, which has subdued many an adversary. It is no surprise that when he visited Japan in February, It was determined to be the best way to greet him (much like the Atlanta Braves “Tomahawk Chop”).

Riding with the tailgate down, Mattis has no qualms hopping back into a warbird and flying over a warzone. Even when pressed with a trip to Afghanistan in April, the man took a Chinook and wore a suit- presumably with a backwards vest on underneath.


As a general rule, you rarely see a smiling Marine. Stoic, rowdy and professional to a fault, a Marine on duty has no friends and therefore does not smile…
…Except when Mattis shows up at the U.S. Embassy in Tel Aviv, Israel in April. Then your inner fanboy can not contain itself and one must smile to prevent spontaneous combustion.


Bomb Bae: Mattis brought the pain over Syria, Iraq Afghanistan and presumably less-advertised places almost immediately once he took office. Of course, he thought them through- one does not simply drop a MOAB, such as he did in April.


See example 3, then call your mother to confirm.

Lastly, Mattis recently went to Copenhagen, Denmark, in May to ensure things were going well with our smaller -but important- allies. Needless to say, things went smoothly.

No matter who you are or what your politics are, it cannot be denied that we have, for once in a very long time, a true warrior leading the pack.  Congratulations on your upcoming 100 days, Jim Mattis! We can’t wait to see what you cook up next.

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Author

  • Andy Wolf

    Andy Wolf is an Appalachian native who spent much of his youth and young adulthood overseas in search of combat, riches, and adventure- accruing decades of experience in military, corporate, first responder, journalistic and advisory roles. He resides in North Carolina's Blue Ridge Mountains with his K9 companion, Kiki.

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