Army paratroopers’ hurricane parties in full swing, might be even crazier than the Marines

Soldiers at Fort Bragg drinking ahead of the arrival of Hurricane Florence (Snapchat)

As Hurricane Florence continues her assault on the Carolinas, the cabin fever-ridden Marines at Camp Lejeune might have been outmatched by the sheer lunacy of the hard-partying paratroopers of the 82nd Airborne Divisions, who are stationed at Fort Bragg.

Frequently trying to determine who is the toughest, Marines and Army Paratroopers both represent dedicated, small-scale forces that pack a wallop on the battlefield. Known for their tenacity and secret love of being surrounded by a fierce enemy, both fighting teams are also renowned party animals who want nothing more than to drink, have a good time, marry strippers and slap Airborne/Marine decals on their respective vehicles.

That being said, SnapChat footage from Fort Bragg has the Airborne in the leisure-lead, compared to the rather hilarious -albeit disturbingly homoerotic- antics of the Marines based a few hours East of them.

With no shortage of alcohol, tobacco, cargo shorts or well-bent baseball caps, members of the 82nd Airborne jumped feet-first into a metaphorical smorgasbord of beer pong, dance-offs, mixed martial arts, and other activities that -while absolutely legendary in their own right- probably aren’t fit for public release. One paratrooper -allegedly from the 1/504 PIR- strutted his stuff in a singlet fit for a 1990s WCW wrestler.

With Fayetteville (known colloquially as “Fayettenam”) as their backdrop, the static line cowboys of the All American Division are likely running on muscle memory at this point and will need a couple pallets of saline IVs prior to returning to duty.

While Fort Bragg’s parties do seem to be more lively, it’s only fair to note that Camp Lejeune is closer to the Atlantic Ocean, and naturally will be hit harder by the hurricane. Ironically, Mother Nature has temporarily rendered both fightings forces unable to conduct the kinds of assaults they do best: amphibious operations and airborne drops, respectively.

With no work to be done, and uncertainty-bearing down with high-speed winds, the Marines and Paratroopers have reverted to their natural instincts, declaring war on both boredom and their own livers.

Shine on, you crazy diamonds. Shine on.

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