Army features SNCOs in hard-to-watch recruiting rap video about getting "bills paid for"

(Opinion) The United States Army has reached a new low in its attempt to lure young civilians into the service amidst recruiting and retention woes- and to call it “cringe-worthy” would be an understatement.

Somewhere in the higher echelons of the US Army Recruiting Command, it appears that the question of “how do we reach out to these hip youngsters” took a turn for the disastrous- with evidence in the form of a truly awful rap video produced and sanctioned by the US Army.

Published to YouTube by the US Army on February 1, the video was produced by Fort Benning’s 335th Signal Command (Theater) and stars Sergeant First Class Arlondo Sutton and Sergeant First Class Jason Locke, two wildly out of place NCOs (who appear to be in their thirties) who are way too into the performance.

Promising paid bills, adventure and benefits, the two noncommissioned officers dance around like Muppets on pre-workout powder, spitting rhymes to a boring background track as snipers, paratroopers and other Army personnel put on a show.

In terms of sound, the duo are somewhat reminiscent of Linkin Park- but only if Linkin Park wasn’t talented and didn’t have a killer guitar in the background. Let’s not forget the addition of auto-tune, the laziest form of musical augmentation.

For three minutes and six seconds, those viewing the video are assaulted by a constant barrage of confusing imagery, with frame shots lasting fewer than one to two seconds and the primary backgrounds switching between a graffiti’d urban landscape and the woods of Fort Benning, Georgia.

The two recruiters guarantee certain things, such as being out of work by 5 PM and having uniforms paid for , all while demanding potential recruits escape being a “hostage to college” and mortgages.

The Army’s video has 7,571 views on YouTube, and the service was brave enough to leave comments on. Many did not disappoint.

“Please keep this far away from television,” user J. Hill wrote.

“This is why Russia and China are beating us,” Dan Kibler responded.

Other comments were by potential recruits who were turned off by the video and decided to join the Marine Corps instead.

One commenter, who goes by the username “RaccoonTrapper,” said that the video was a dud.

“As part of the ‘younger generation’ that this is trying to recruit, I find it rather offputting,” RacoonTrapper wrote. “Seriously, do they really want the type of recruits this video might attract? At this point they might as well just put a banner on the front of the recruiters office that says ‘We’re desperate.’”

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